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मंडली

चेन रिएक्शन: भाग-2

शेयर करें

… गतांक से आगे

“हे वाओ! बड़ा खिलाड़ी है तू यार। बता ना अपनी अनयुज़ुअल सी लस्ट स्टोरी, आय मीन लव स्टोरी।”

“अनयुज़ुअल सा कुछ भी नही है इसमें। पहली वाली मुझसे छह साल बड़ी थी”, मैंने सपाट सा उत्तर दिया।

“ओह हो!!! तो तुझे लड़कियां नही औरतें पसन्द है”, उसने फिर छेड़ा।

“नही, मुझे मैच्योर लड़कियां पसन्द है”, मैंने उसे ठीक किया।

“वही मतलब, यानि कि पका हुआ आम। बस धो कर मुँह लगा के चूस डालो, आखिरी बूँद तक दाँत गड़ा के मज़े लो। यही ना” – एक ठहाका।

“कितनी घटिया सोच है तुम्हारी” दिमाग गर्म हो गया।

“ओके ओके, सॉरी सॉरी … और दूसरी वाली?”

“भाग गई। शादी के एक दिन पहले”, मैंने छोटा सा जवाब दिया।

वो चौंकी।

“हाऊ इंट्रेस्टिंग!! लव थी या अरेन्ज?”

“अरेंज्ड थी”

“तो इसमें लव कहाँ था?”

“था ना लव, मेरी तरफ से। उसकी तरफ से कोम्प्रोमाईज़।”

“पर वो भागी क्यों?”- कंफ्यूज हो गयी वो।

”शायद उसको मेरा टीचिंग प्रोफेशन पसन्द नही आया होगा।

“नहीं ऐसा नहीं है कुछ। अपनी भी बताओ कुछ?”  मैंने कुरेदने की कोशिश की।

“देखो प्रोफेसर”, उसने एक एक बड़ा सा घूँट लिया, “यू इंडियंस आर वैरी सेंटी यार। ये प्यार-व्यार कुछ नही होता। बी प्रैक्टिकल, कम ऑन इंजॉय योर लाइफ। फ़ॉर मी, लव इस ओनली ए रिफाइंड नेम ऑफ़ लस्ट।  लव इज़ ओनली लस्ट नथिंग एल्स। लव इस सिम्पली, टू द फूल्स, फ़ॉर द फूल्स एंड बाई द फूल्स।” वह बिंदास बोली।

“लस्ट??? क्या कहूँ अब? ये तुम्हारी समझ से परे है … तुम नही समझोगी। जिस दिन होगा तब समझोगी।”

“हेलो प्रोफेसर, लव और मैं !! बुलशिट। मेरे लिए ये सिर्फ एक दूसरे से चिपकने का एक बहाना है।”

बातें करते करते कब घर आ गया, मालूम ही नही चला।

“चलो देखेंगे। पर क्या विज़न है तुम्हारा !! बड़ी साइको सेक्सुअल सोच है – बिल्कुल फ्रायड की तरह, जिसे बच्चे के अंगूठा चूसने में भी सेक्स दिखाई देता है। मतलब हर रिश्ता सिर्फ सेक्स से शुरू और सेक्स पर खत्म। क्यों यही ना”, मैं भी अब बोलने लगा।

“बिल्कुल देख लेना। और इस थ्योरी में गलत क्या है? यही सच हैं पर हम इस सच्चाई को मानते ही नहीं। एक रिश्ते का मुखौटा लगा के उसे झुठलाते फिरते है। सच बोलूँ तो लव स्टार्टस बिटवीन द लेग्स, एंड इट एंड्स बिटवीन द लेग्स। ईट्स जस्ट रिडिक्यूल्स। जो करना है करो ना। ये प्यार व्यार का नाटक क्यों?”

“इंसानी समाज, उसके कायदे कानून भी कुछ मायने रखते है। सब कुछ यूँ ही नही होता जैसा तुम बता रही हो।”

“कम ऑन यार!! अब इसमें तुम्हारा सो-कॉल्ड सोसाइटी, नियम कानून कहाँ से आ गए? मुझे तुम्हारा जिस्म चाहिये, तुम्हे मेरा। तुमने दिया मैंने लिया। सिम्पली गिव एंड टेक रिलेशनशिप। उसके बाद तुम अपने रास्ते मैं अपने रास्ते। जस्ट म्यूच्यूअल को-ऑपरेशन।” एक साँस काफी थी।

“देखो सैंडी, ये इंडिया है।  कभी किसी एक का होकर देखना, कितनी शांति मिलती है। यहाँ तुम्हारा वाला प्यार नही चलता। प्यार सिर्फ म्यूच्यूअल को-ऑपरेशन नहीं है, ना ही गिव एंड टेक रिलेशनशिप। एक समर्पण है, त्याग है।”

“सच्चाई! गहराई! माय फुट, ऑल आर हिप्पोक्रेट्स। मेरे हेड प्रोफेसर को देखा है। उस बुड्ढे की बेटी मेरे साथ ही पढ़ती है पर मुझे देख कर उसके आँखों से लार ऐसे टपकती है, जैसे लड़की नही देखी कभी। चपरासी से लेकर हेड तक सब की आँखें कपड़ों के पीछे के जिस्म की गोलाइयाँ नापती हैं। नाम कितना भी अच्छा दे दो त्याग, समर्पण बट ऑल आर रासकल्स।

“अपनी अपनी सोच है सैंडी। तुम्हारे वाले प्यार, जो जिस्म से शुरू होकर जिस्म पर खत्म होता है, से मैं इत्तेफाक नही रखता। ठीक उसी तरह मेरा वाला प्यार, जो जिस्मानी रिश्तों के आगे शुरू होता है, उस पर तुमको विश्वास नही है। शायद हमारे परिवार के आदर्शों, संस्कारों और माहौल का असर है जिसमे हम बड़े होते है।”

मैंने गौर किया रात काफी हो चुकी थी। कल स्कूल भी जाना था। इस विषय पर और डिस्कशन नही करना चाह रहा था। सो, मैंने खुद को समेटा, “अच्छा रात काफी हो गयी है चलता हूँ। पूरा डिस्कशन फिर कभी। गुड नाईट!”

“तुम सारे मर्द एक जैसे होते हो। कभी भी कोई काम पूरा नही करते। चाहे डिस्कशन हो या सेक्स, अपना काम हुआ, ज़िप चढ़ाई, चाहे पैंट की हो या होठों की और, निकल लिए।”

मैं सिर्फ खिसिया के, मुस्कुरा भर सका।

उस रात, शिमला के हिसाब से गरमी कुछ ज़्यादा थी। गरमी बाहर थी कि मेरे अंदर पता नही चल पा रहा था। करवटों से सफेद चादर पर सिलवटें बढ़ती जा रहीं थीं। आँखें बंद थीं और दिमाग पर सैंडी का कब्ज़ा था। फिर …

मेरा बिस्तर छोटा होता गया। अचानक से गरमी और बढ़ गयी। जिस्म से कपड़े अलग हो चुके थे। होंठ, हाथ और जिस्म में कशमकश जारी थी। सारे अंग अपना कर्म करने को आतुर थे पर मन विद्रोह कर रहा था। संस्कार अपनी मर्यादा लांघने को तैयार नहीं था। जिस्म अपना धर्म निभा रहा था और मन अपना। दुविधा चरम पर थी। जायज़ और नाजायज़ में कशमकश जारी थी। कभी तन की भूख हावी तो कभी मन की उलाहना। आँखें अभी भी बंद थीं – शायद किसी सपने की तलाश में। विचारो की उठा-पटक, पसीने से तर- बतर जिस्म की सौंधी खुशबू दिमाग में बैठती जा रही थी। बस तन का अनचाहा समपर्ण …

देह ने अपना धर्म निभाया रात भर। बिस्तर भर सा गया था … पसीना चादर भिगो रहा था … कपडे ना जाने कब आपस मे उलझ के जमीन पर जा गिरे थे …

सुबह आँख खुली …. वो अभी भी बेसुध मेरे बगल में कंधे को तकिया बनाये सो रही थी। सर भारी था … तभी खुद के होने का भी अहसास हुआ। उठ कर गूँथे कपड़ों को ऐसे अलग किया जैसे अपना अस्तित्व को अलग किया हो … सीधे बाथरूम में जा घुसा। कई बार पोंछा। हाथ से, कपड़े से पर बाथरूम का शीशा पता नहीं क्यों, चेहरा धुँधला दिखा रहा था।

कई बार रगड़ रगड़ के नहाया, जैसे चादर में जमी धूल मेरे शरीर से आ चिपकी हो। जितना रगड़ो, उतना ही घुसती जाती थी रोम रोम में।

इसी सोच में बाहर आया … बिस्तर खाली था। सैंडी जा चुकी थी.. पर… मेरी चादर?

वो चादर भी लेकर जा चुकी थी..

मेरे और सैंडी में प्यार तो था नहीं फिर ये क्या था? क्या बिना प्यार के समर्पण? ये कौन सा वाला प्यार है? मेरा वाला तो कतई नहीं तो शायद सैंडी वाला तो क्या वो सही थी? “म्यूच्यूअल को-ऑपरेशन”, “गिव एंड टेक” क्या यही है? पर उसने माँगा, उसने लिया। मैंने तो नहीं दिया ना मैंने उससे माँगा। पर साथ तो मैंने भी दिया था बराबर। ये प्यार था या लस्ट। शावर के पानी के साथ मैं भी बह रहा था नाली से।

मैं तैयार हो कर निकल चुका था चंडीगढ़। अपने दोस्त से पास, जहाँ अकेले में उत्तर ढूंढ सकूँ अपने प्रश्नों का। पर सैंडी एक धुंध की तरह जम सी गयी थी दिमाग़ की सतह पर। जिस्म उसकी खुशबू से लबरेज़ था। अब रोम में जमी धूल धीरे धीरे सतह पर आने लगी थी। शायद एक बार फिर से चादर पर बिछना चाहती थी, फिर से मेरे भीतर समाने के लिये।

मेरी समझ में आने लगा था कि लव इज़ नथिंग, ओनली ए रिफाइंड नेम ऑफ़ लस्ट। सैंडी शायद ठीक थी। अब तक मैं जान चुका था कि मैंने क्या खोया और मुझे क्या मिला? अब मुझे एक बार फिर सैंडी की ज़रूरत महसूस हो रही थी। पर किसलिये? प्यार के लिये? शायद नही, तो फिर?

हफ्ता भर लगा जिस्म की भाषा और माँग समझने में।

वापस आया। कमरे के स्टडी टेबल पर ऊपर वाले कमरे की चाबी रखी थी। एक गुलाबी कागज़ के ऊपर। मैंने उसके तह खोले आहिस्ता से, जैसे उस रात उसके कपड़े खोले होंगे, ठीक वैसे … बिना आवाज़ किये। नज़र हर्फ़ों पर कुछ यूँ गिर रही थी जैसे उसका जिस्म हो।

“डियर प्रोफेसर,

मुझे मालूम है तुम खुद को गिल्टी समझ रहे हो। इसीलिए कहीं दूर जा छिपे हो। दरअसल, प्रोफेसर तुम खुद से और सच्चाई से भाग रहे हो। तुम्हारी इसमें कोई गलती नहीं। मैं ही चुपके से तुम्हारे बिस्तर में आ घुसी थी। तुम्हे समझाने “लव इज़ ओनली लस्ट”।

सैरन्ध्री”

पिछला साल आँखों के सामने से कल की तरह गुज़र गया। सिगरेट सुलग सुलग के ना जाने कब की राख बन चुकी थी पर उँगलियों के बीच, तपिश बाक़ी थी। और धुँए ने मुझे घेर रखा था।

गेट की चरमराहट से, झुरझुरी के साथ मैं वापस लौटा-

वो भी वापस आ गयी थी। इससे पहले वो डोर बेल बजाये, मैं दरवाज़ा खोल चुका था। एक ख़ामोशी पसरी थी हमारे बीच, भीतर भी, बाहर भी। बूत बने थे दोनों, समझ नही आ रहा था हाथ मिलाऊँ, गले लगाऊँ या फिर कस के लिपट जाऊँ। शायद वो भी इसी कशमकश में थी।

आखिर में, मैं हटा दरवाज़े से-  रास्ता दिया अंदर आने का। वो निःशब्द अंदर आकर बैठ गयी। कमरा शायद वैसा ही था जैसा वो छोड़ के गयी थी। काफी देर तक उसकी आँखें कुछ टटोलती रहीं। शायद अपनी खुश्बू पहचान रही हो ।

“तुम सही थे .. मैं गलत थी सुयोधन … उस दिन को मैं अभी तक भूल नहीं पायी हूँ … और लगता मुझे तुम्हारा वाला प्यार ही सूट करेगा …“

उसने मेरी वाली चादर निकाली, शायद धुली थी। सफेद चादर पर वो निशान अभी भी अपने होने की हाजिरी लगा रहे थे। उसने मुझे चादर के दो कोने  पकड़वाए और बोली- “गिव मी वन मोर चांस प्रोफेसर..तुम जीत गए।”

हमने चादर बिछा दी थी … मेरे जिस्म में चादर की खुश्बू फिर से भरने लगी थी। खून का दौरा बढ़ गया था अंगों में। मेरा वाला प्रेम अब शिकार देख के सैरंध्री वाले लस्ट में आ गया था। मेरी आँखें अब जिस्म तलाश रहीं थी …

मैं जीत गया था …

लेखक – जॉय बनर्जी (@JoyBanny19)

भाग-1 का लिंक … http://mandli.in/post/chain-reaction-1

 

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