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मंडली

बे-कार- भाग: 2

शेयर करें

गतांक से आगे

“अच्छा तो आप ही है शैलेश जी “, उस व्यक्ति ने खड़े होकर बड़ी ही गर्मजोशी से माड़साब से हाथ मिलाकर उनका स्वागत किया। माड़साब के मन में अब कुछ प्रसन्नता जागी।

“आइये मैं आपको आपकी कार दिखाता हूँ।” माड़साब के पेट में अब गुदगुदी होने लगी। वे उसके पीछे पीछे चल दिए। आगे एक चमचमाती, सिल्वर कलर की कार खड़ी थी। माड़साब इस चमत्कार से हतप्रभ थे। उन्हें अपनी आँखों पर यकीन नहीं हो रहा था। आज उन्हें अपनी पत्नी द्वारा चढ़ाये जाने वाले उन ग्यारह रूपये के पेड़ों पर विश्वास आ गया था। गाड़ी देखकर वे पुनः केबिन में आ गए। माड़साब के तो पैर ही जमीन पर नहीं पड़ रहे थे।

“ठीक है साहब तो आप अपना ID प्रूफ, ड्राइविंग लाइसेंस, लकी ड्रा फॉर्म की शेष आधी परची और हमारा कंफेरमशन लेटर  हमें दीजिये”, उस व्यक्ति ने बड़ी शालीनता से कहा। माड़साब ने अपनी फ़ाइल टटोली और कागजो का एक पुलिंदा उसे थमा दिया। उसने बड़े गौर से कागजों का निरीक्षण किया और फिर उनपर से दृष्टि हटाकर एक कागज निकाल कर माड़साब  को देता हुआ बोला, “ये आप हमारे कंफोर्मेशन लेटर की आप फोटोकॉपी लाये है। मुझे ओरिजिनल कंफोर्मेशन लैटर चाहिए, वेरिफिकेशन के लिये।” उसके लहजे शिष्टता थी। माड़साब ने उस से सारे कागज ले लिए और उन्हें टटोला। वो सही कह रहा था, उसमे कंफोर्मेशन लैटर की फोटोकॉपी ही थी। उन्होंने अपनी फ़ाइल को खंगाला लेकिन उसमे कही वो लेटर नहीं था।  माड़साब के पसीने छूट गए। उन्होंने फिर एक बार सब कागजोँ मेँ ढूँढा लेकिन कहीं कुछ ना मिला, हो तो मिले।

“आप इस फोटो कॉपी से ही काम चला लीजिए, अगर इसकी फोटोकॉपी मेरे पास है तो ओरिजिनल भी मेरे पास ही होगा ।”

“जी, मैं समझ सकता हूँ, लेकिन कागज़ आपको सभी प्रस्तुत करने होंगे यह हमारा नियम है।”

माड़साब ऊपर नीचे हो रहे थे उन्हें फोन का खयाल आया मैं whatsapp पर अभी घर से मंगवा देता हूँ।”

“वह भी फोटोकॉपी ही होगी। आप समझ नहीं रहे हैँ कि मुझे ओरिजनल ही चाहिए ।”

माड़साब ने उसे और भी कई तरीकों से बहस करके समझाने की कोशिश की लेकिन वह अड़ा रहा। अंत में उसने अपनी सभ्यता वाली मुस्कुराहट पर अचानक ब्रेक लगा कर कहा, “आप बेकार बहस करके मेरा समय नष्ट कर रहे हैं। अभी आपके पास डेड लाइन के दो दिन हैं। आप कोरियर से वह लेटर मँगवा लीजिए। तब हम आपको कार दे देंगे, अन्यथा नहीं।” नहीं शब्द सुनते ही माड़साब के कानों में सीटी बजने लगी उनका ब्लड प्रेशर हाई हो गया, पसीने छूटने लगे।

माड़साहब शो रुम से बाहर निकले। उन्होंने तत्काल अपने बेटे को फोन लगाकर वो लेटर कोरियर से मुंबई के शोरुम के पते पर भेजने के लिए कहा। कुछ देर बाद लड़के का फोन आया कि उसने वह लेटर कोरियर कर दिया है परसों तक पहुँच जाएगा।  परसों आखिरी तारीख थी। माड़साब बहुत चिंतित हो गए, पूरा शरीर बोझिल हो गया, पांव उठ नहीं रहे थे। वो विचार कर रहे थे, “मैं कैसे उस कागज को भूल सकता हूँ सारे कागज़ तो मैंने अपने हाथ से इस फाइल में रखे थे।”

माड़साहब को तभी याद आया कि लास्ट टाइम पर उस कागज की फोटोकॉपी कराने के लिए उन्होंने बिट्टू को भेजा था, फोटो कॉपी तो उन्होंने  रख ली और ओरिजिनल लेटर टेबल पर ही छूट गया। इस गलती के लिए उन्होंने स्वयं को बहुत कोसा  फिर बाबूलाल का नंबर आया जिसने आज का पूरा दिन खराब कर दिया। उसके बाद शिक्षा विभाग का नंबर आया जिसने उनकी नौकरी उस गांव में लगाई, “ना उन की नौकरी उस गांव में लगती, न वो बाबूलाल से मिलते, ना आज ये समस्या पैदा होती।”  माड़साब यही सब सोचते- सोचते भारी क़दमों से अधिकांश रास्ता पैदल और शेष बस से तय करके वापस नर्सिंग होम पहुंचे।  बाबूलाल की हालत ठीक थी हालांकी कुछ कमजोरी थी मगर वह पहले से बेहतर लग रहा था।

माड़साब उसकी छुट्टी करवाने के लिए काउंटर पर पहुंचे। काउंटर पर बैठी लड़की ने उन्हें एक बिल  थमा दिया, “पहले यह बिल जमा करवा दिजीए फिर हम डिस्चार्ज करेंगे।”  माड़साब ने  बिल देखा उन्हें चक्कर आ गए – 10 हजार का बिल एक दिन का। माड़साब ने उसे कम करने के लिए कहा, लड़की ने इनकार कर दिया। माड़साब ने बहस करने की कोशिश की लेकिन रिसेप्शनिस्ट ने उनकी 90 प्रतिशत बातों का कोई जवाब ही नहीं दिया। वो अपने सामने रखे कंप्यूटर में फेसबुक पर अपनी प्रोफाइल पिक  निहारती रही। माड़साब के हाथ बिल के अलावा कुछ न लगा।

अंत में हार कर उन्होंने पूछा, “ यहाँ कहीं आस पास एटीएम है?”

तुरंत उत्तर मिला, “ हाँ यहीं अस्पताल में ही है “

“अब कैसे चहकी!  कमीनों ने अस्पताल में ही एटीएम लगा रखा है, यहीं से निकालो और यहीं दे जाओ। लूटने की दुकान खोल रखी है”  माड़साब  बडबडाते हुए एटीएम से पैसे निकाल लाए और बाबूलाल को डिस्चार्ज करवाया । उन्हें बाबूलाल पर बहुत गुस्सा आ रहा था लेकिन कोई चारा नहीं था। बाबूलाल तो मिले वीआइपी ट्रीटमेंट के कारण आनंद में था। न तो ट्रेन का A.C. उसने पहले देखा था और ना ऐसा अस्पताल। उसे मजा आ रहा था और माड़साब का बिल और  पारा दोनों बढ़ता जा रहा था।

अब दो रात मुंबई में रुकना भी था – मतलब और खर्चा। क्या करें? सब कुछ कंट्रोल से परे था माड़साब लोगों से सस्ते होटल के बारे में पूछते–ताछ्ते  निकट ही एक होटल पर पहुँचे।  सस्ता भी 300 रुपए रोज से कम न था और होटल भी घटिया सा ही था। बाबूलाल ने कहा भी कि यह होटल बहुत घटिया लग रहा है लेकिन माड़साब ने उसे कह दिया, “तू क्या मेरे से ज्यादा जानता है। खर्चा कितना हो गया मालूम है और सोना ही तो है यहाँ पर करना क्या है।” बाबूलाल चुप हो गया, दोनों ने वहाँ एक कमरा ले लिया और सो गए।

रात को करीब दो- ढाई बजे के लगभग माड़साब एकदम चौंककर उठे।  बाहर होटल के गलियारे में से कुछ आवाज  आ रही थी।  माड़साब उन आवाजों पर से ध्यान हटाकर फिर सोने की कोशिश करने लगे। धीरे -धीरे आवाजें बढ़ने लगी। तभी किसी ने मुट्ठी से जोर से उनके कमरे का दरवाजा खटखटाया। माड़साब ने उठकर धीरे से दरवाजे की चीर में से झाँक कर देखा। बाहर लोग बदहवास भाग रहे थे, शायद भूकंप आया था।  उन्होंने तुरंत बाबूलाल को उठाया, “भाग बाबूलाल भूकंप आया है।” कुछ ही समय में वे दोनों भी लोगों के साथ गलियारे में दौड़ रहे था। “क्या -क्या नहीं हो गया यहाँ आकर, अब इस भूकंप को भी आना था”, माड़साब सोच रहे थे, तभी उनके पिछवाड़े के एक भाग पर बिजली कौंधी, माड़साब तिलमिला उठे। वे पलटकर अपना पिछवाड़ा सँभाल पाते उससे पहले ही पिछवाड़े के शेष आधे भाग पर भी बिजली कौंध गई। तब तक माड़साब पीछे पलट चुके थे उन्हें पुलिस का डंडा दिखाई दिया। होटल में पुलिस की रेड पड़ी थी।

कुछ देर बाद माड़साब और बाबूलाल लॉकअप में पड़े थे। मुंबई आने से पहले किसी ने उन्हें बताया था कि मुंबई में देखने की बहुत जगह हैं। अस्पताल वे देख ही चुके थे, अब थाना भी देख लिया। लॉकअप में पड़े हुए उन्हें लगभग दो घंटे हो चुके थे। होटल से लाए गए सभी महिला-पुरुषों को वहीं रखा गया था। थोड़ी-थोड़ी देर में हवलदार आता था और उनमें से एक-दो को ले जाकर छोड़ देता था। या तो उनके मिलने वाले आ जाते थे या किसी रसूखदार का फोन आ जाता था।  माड़साब को छुड़ाने वाला कोई नहीं था, न ही वे किसी को फोन लगा सकते थे। बाबूलाल वहाँ भी बैठा-बैठा सो रहा था। माड़साब से बैठा भी नहीं जा रहा था। उनके पिछवाड़े  में बहुत दर्द हो रहा था।  बाबूलाल डंडो से बच गया था। माड़साब की ही किस्मत ख़राब थी । यह ग़नीमत था कि यहाँ लॉकअप में पुलिस ने उनकी पिटाई नहीं की थी।

सुबह होने को आ रही थी। धीरे-धीरे लॉकअप के अजीब-अजीब शक्ल वाले सभी लोग छोड़े जा चुके थे। अब केवल वे दोनों ही बचे थे। थोड़ी देर बाद थानेदार उनके पास आया। उन्हें बाहर का जानकर हिंदी में बोला, “तो ये सब करने आते हो तुम लोग यहाँ पर?”

“हमने कुछ नहीं किया साहब”

“अच्छा तो उस होटल में क्या सोने गए थे”

“हाँ साहब” माड़साब ने मासूमियत से जवाब दिया।

थानेदार और उसका साथी हवलदार जोर-जोर से हँसने लगेI

थानेदार की जो बातें यहाँ बतायी गया हैं, असल में यह उसकी बातों का श्लील भावार्थ भर है। उसकी शब्दश: प्रस्तुति कहानी को कश्यप साहब की फिल्मों जैसा बना देगी।

“तुम्हारा कोई मिलने वाला यहाँ हो तो उसे बुला लो” , थानेदार गरजा ।

“हमारा यहाँ कोई नहीं है हम बाहर से आए हैं। यहाँ इनाम में खुली कार लेने।”

“अच्छा थानेदार का चेहरा चमका, पैसे कितने हैं तुम्हारे पास?”

“अभी तो कुछ नहीं है।”

“ झूठ”, थानेदार चिल्लाया I

“मतलब अभी जेब में नहीं है” माड़साब घबराकर एकदम बात से पलटे।

“दो घंटे में 50 हजार की जुगाड़ कर, वरना सुबह होने पर मुझे तुम्हें कोई बलात्कार-वलात्कार का चार्ज लगाकर कोर्ट में पेश करना पड़ेगा।”

माड़साब का कंठ सूख गया। बीपी बढ़ गया,  साँस अटकने लगी, “साहब हमने कुछ किया ही नहींI”

“इसीलिए 50,000 बोले, कुछ करता तो साले 5 लाख लेता और छोड़ता भी नहीं । जा एक को लेकर एटीएम और पैसे ले कर आ।”

“साहब कुछ दो-पाँच हजार में एडजस्टमेंट कर लो। 50 हजार बहुत ज्यादा हैं।”

“मैं क्या भिखारी दिखाई देता हूँ साले! ठीक है। अब कुछ मत ला पैसे-वैसे। शिंदे नीठ ठुकाई कर या दोघांची।” थानेदार ने हवलदार को निर्देश दिया लेकिन मराठी का निर्देश भी माड़साब को अच्छी तरह से समझ आ गया ।

माड़साब बहुत घबरा गए बोले, “साहब मुझे जाने दो मैं पैसे लेकर आता हूँ।”

हवलदार ने बाबूलाल को वहीं रख लिया और माड़साब को लेकर बाहर चला गया। थोड़ी देर बाद वो पैसे लेकर लौटे और थानेदार को पूरे 50,000 दिए।  थानेदार ने उन्हें कुर्सी पर बैठाया, चाय पिलाई और चाय के साथ बड़े शहर में सही जगह पर रहने और ऐसी-वैसी जगह न जाने के संबंध में ज्ञान भी पिलाया। अब उसके शब्द सात्विक थे। पैसा वाणी और मन की शुद्धि भी करता है।

थाने से विदा हुए माड़साब बहुत टूटे और थके दिख रहे थे। टेंशन के मारे एक-दो किलो वजन कम हो गया था पिछले चौबीस घंटे में। ना जाने क्या-क्या बीती थी उन पर, कितना पैसा खर्च हो चुका था और कोई होता तो यह सब झेल ही नहीं पाता। वे पैदल चलते हुए थानेदार के बताये अच्छे होटल जा रहे थे।

“बाबूलाल यह थाने वाली बात वहाँ गांव में या मेरे या तेरे घर पर किसी को मत बताना”

“मैँ थोड़ी दारु पी सकता हूँ?”  बाबूलाल ने प्रत्युत्तर में पूछा ।

माड़साब ने पहले उस पर एक क्रोध भरी दृष्टि डाली और फिर कुछ नरम होकर सहमति में फिर हिला दिया। बाबूलाल खुश हो गया।

उन्होंने अच्छे होटल में एक कमरा ले लिया अच्छा खाना खाया और आराम किया । मानसिक और शारीरिक रुप से भी वे बहुत थक चुके थे। अब एक रात और रुकना था।  अगर यह रात  ठीक-ठाक निकल जाए तो गंगा नहायें । रात हो चली थी,  बाबूलाल ने माड़साब की और अर्थपूर्ण दृष्टि से देखा। माड़साब ने उस का भाव समझ कर वेटर को बुलाया और उसे अंग्रेजी शराब की एक बोतल मंगा दी जिससे बाबूलाल कोई घटिया शराब न पी सके। बाबूलाल ने बोतल खोल कर दो गिलास में पैग बनाए। माड़साब आँखें  मूंदे लेटे हुए थे। बाबूलाल ने एक गिलास धीरे से माड़साब की ओर सरका दिया, “लो माड़साब  थोड़ी सी ले लो , इससे टेंशन भी मिट जाएगी और थकान भी” माड़साब ने पहले गिलास की ओर देखा फिर बाबूलाल की तरफ, “ले लो माड़साब पैसा तो खर्च हो ही चुका है। अब उस पैसे का आराम ही ले लो ।

“हमेशा दूसरों के लिए ही जीते आए हो आज अपने लिए जी लो।”

माड़साब ने एक गहरी सांस भरकर सशंकित भाव से गिलास उठा लिया। रात भर दोनों चैन से गहरी नींद सोए। ये रात बिना किसी परेशानी के कटी। अगली सुबह दोनों उठकर शोरुम जाने के लिए तैयार हुए । लगभग साढ़े दस बजे के लगभग जब वे रास्ते में थे, उन्हें शोरुम से फोन आया कि उनका कोरियर पहुँच चुका है वे शोरुम आकर कार की डिलीवरी ले लें। आज माड़साब टैक्सी से शोरुम जा रहे थे। वे शोरूम  पहुँचकर उसी व्यक्ति से मिले। उसने फिर वही सभ्य  मुस्कान और गर्मजोशी से उनका स्वागत किया। माड़साब ने सारे कागज़ उसे दिए।  उसने सभी कागज़ जांचकर सबमिट कर लिए। फिर कहा चलिए कार की डिलीवरी ले लीजिए। माड़साबको कोई बहुत खुशी नहीं हुई उन्होंने सिर्फ एक फीकी सी मुस्कान दी। उन्हें गालिब का वह शेर याद आ गया:

इशरत-ए-कतरा है दरिया में फना हो जाना                                                                                    दर्द का हद से गुजरना है दवा हो जाना

शोरुम के मालिक को बुलाया गया एक बड़ी सी गत्ते की बनी चाबी उन्हें देते हुए कार के साथ फोटो खींचे गए। माड़साहब का मन मोर मन ही मन नाच उठा। पूरी सेरेमनी के बाद वह कार की कागजी कार्यवाही करने के लिए पुनः उसी व्यक्ति के सामने बैठे थे, “ हाँ तो शैलेश जी, अब चालीस हज़ार  रुपए आप हमें जमा करवा दीजिए।”

क्रमश: …

लेखक – @fictionhindi और आशीष सोनी

बे-कार: भाग: 1 का लिंक http://mandli.in/post/be-car-1

 

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