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मंडली

अनन्त प्रेम पथ – 2

शेयर करें

तुम्हारे सोने के बाद कल रात, मन और मेरी बातें हो रही थी कि आजकल की दुनिया में वास्तविक कष्ट क्या है? शारीरिक, मानसिक या वैचारिक? मैंने जवाब दिया कि वैचारिक रूप से हम स्वयं को अधिक कष्ट देते हैं। आगे बात बढ़ाकर कहा, “संभव है कि वैचारिक कष्ट के माध्यम से ही हम किसी उपाय के मार्ग को पा लें। जैसा कि ‘तुम’ कहती हो सुख भ्रम ही तो है।” मेरी इस बात का उत्तर अब मन को देना था। उसने कहा, “भ्रम में भी स्वेच्छा से दुखी रहना किस प्रकार की बुद्धिमानी है?” मैंने जिरह नहीं की और इस बात पर सहमति जतायी। क्षण भी नहीं बीता कि मैंने कष्ट के दृष्टिकोण से भ्रमजाल को देखना शुरू किया। मन मेरे पास ही बैठा था। वह देख रहा था कि इन विचारों में डूबते ही कैसे मेरा चेहरा उतर जाता है। ऐसा लगता है जैसे अंधेरे की एक चादर मुझे खुद में समटने को तत्पर रहती है। मैं ज़मीन पर बैठ जाता हूँ और वो चादर अपने आप मेरे शरीर को पूरा ढ़क लेती है। नकारात्मक भावनाओं के समुद्र में गोते खाता मन कभी ऊपर आने की होड़ में रहता है तो कभी भारी होकर एकदम डूबने को तैयार!

ऐसे ख़यालों से जूझता मैं, फ़िर हर रात आँखें ठीक बिस्तर के ऊपर लटक रहे पंखें पर टिका कर, अपना दाहिना हाथ सर के पीछे रख लेता हूँ। और बायीं बाँह तुम्हारी ओर फैला देता हूँ जिससे तुम आसानी से मेरे सीने में समा जाती हो। तुम्हें मालूम है, जब तक तुम सो नहीं जाती मैं तुम्हें देखता रहता हूँ। और जब तुम सो जाती हो तो कभी छत और कभी दाहिनी ओर खिड़की पर लटक रही रोशनी की लड़ियों को देखता हूँ। देखते-देखते पता नहीं चलता कब डूब जाता हूँ उन ख़यालों में जो हमने ठीक तुम्हारे सोने के पहले तक की होती हैं। यूँ ही कुछ मिनट सोचने में गँवाने के बाद ऐसा महसूस करता हूँ जैसे हथेलियाँ ठंडी और नम हो रही हैं। सीने में कुछ घबराहट सी होती है। सर घूम जाता है। एक पल को तो समझ नहीं आता क्या करूँ। फ़िर अचानक से सोच लेता हूँ, इतना घबराने की क्या बात है उपाय है ना। एक बेचैनी भरी करवट के साथ घूम जाता हूँ तुम्हारी ओर! अब तुम सीने से उतर कर सीधे बाँह पर आ चुकी होती हो। तुम गहरी नींद में डूबी हुई लंबी सांसें भरती हो और तुम्हारी सांसों की हवा मेरे शर्ट के अधखुले बटन से होकर मेरे सीने तक जाती है। मैं बेहतर महसूस करता हूँ।

तुम्हारी तरफ़ करवट लेने के बाद मेरा दाहिना हाथ अब तक जो मैंने मेरे सर के नीचे लगा रखा था, अब तुम्हारी पीठ पर होता है। तुम नींद में ही थोड़ा और सरक कर पास आती हो। मुझे अब तुम्हारा चेहरा नहीं दिखता है। पर रह-रह कर मैं अपनी ठोड़ी नीचे कर-कर के तुम्हें देखने के प्रयास में रहता हूँ। तुम्हें देखकर इतना अच्छा महसूस करता हूँ कि हर बेचैन करने वाला ख़याल मुझे इस वक़्त बेबुनियाद लगता है। सोचता हूँ क्या मतलब है इन बुरे ख़यालों का। कुछ भी तो नहीं! सब कुछ कितना सुंदर है। तुम हर रोज़ बताती हो कि मैं तुम्हारे जीवन की रोशनी हूँ, पर मैं हर रात यही सोचता हूँ कि तुम्हें कैसे बताऊँ कि तुम मेरे लिए क्या हो। और… जैसा कि तुम कहती हो कि सुख भ्रम है तो भ्रम ही सही है। मुझे इसी में जीना है। पर मेरी एक शर्त है। इस भ्रम में मुझे सिर्फ तुम्हारे साथ ही जीना है।

जब तुम सो रही होती हो, मैं ये सभी बातें तुमसे करता हूँ। सुनती भले ना हो पर तुम जानती तो हो ना। मेरे सीने के एकदम करीब होने की वजह से धीरे-धीरे तुम महसूस करती हो कि साँसे और भारी हो रही हैं, और नींद में ही तुम करवट ले लेती हो। अब तुम्हारी पीठ मेरी ओर होती है और मेरा हाथ तुम्हारी कमर से होता हुआ पेट पर रहता है। अब तक मेरी बाँह दर्द करने लगती है। पर मैं ध्यान हटाकर और बातें सोचने में जुट जाता हूँ। मैं ख़ुद से यही कहता हूँ कि मैं यही चाहता था। तुम्हें देखता हूँ तो मुझे प्रेम पर विश्वास होता है। मुझे अच्छा लगता है यह मानकर कि तुम मुझसे प्रेम करती हो। कई बार जब तुम मुझे प्यार से देखती हो तो मैं तुमसे पूछता भी हूँ। क्या मैं बहुत अच्छा लगता हूँ? मुझे बहुत प्रेम करती हो? क्या पहले कभी तुम इतना ख़ुश नहीं रही? तुम्हारे होंठों के साथ-साथ तुम्हारा चेहरा भी सकारात्मक उत्तर देता है और मेरा मन ख़ुशी से भर जाता है। यह सब सोचते-सोचते अब तक मेरे हाथ का दर्द गायब हो चुका होता है, हाथ सुन्न जो हो चुका रहता है।

अब मैं लगभग नींद में होता हूँ कि तुम्हारे मुँह से कुछ बुदबुदाने की आवाज़ सुनकर फ़िर से जग जाता हूँ। मैं जान रहा होता हूँ कि हर रात की तरह तुम अब भी सपने में किसी परेशानी से जूझ रही हो। मैं तुम्हारा हाथ पकड़ लेता हूँ। मुझे भी नहीं पता इससे क्या होता है पर हमेशा की तरह तुम ऐसे शांत हो जाती हो जैसे मेरे हाथ पकड़ने से सपने में भी तुम्हारी परेशानियों के बीच तुम मेरा साथ महसूस कर लेती हो। इस सबके बाद तुम्हें दुबारा सुकून से सोता हुआ देखकर मैं भी ख़ुद को जागती आँखों से तुम्हारे उन्हीं सपनों में अपने आप को देखता हूँ। ख़ुशी इस बात की रहती है कि अब तुम उन सपनों से घबराती नहीं हो।

अब मैं थोड़ा-थोड़ा सोने को तैयार होता हूँ। छोटे-छोटे सपने देख ही रहा होता हूँ कि तुम ज़रा सी नींद खुलने पर मेरी सुन्न पड़ी बाँह की फ़िक्र करती हो। अपना सर उठाकर मेरा हाथ सीधा करती हो। हाथ सीधा होते वक़्त मुझे बहुत दर्द होता है। तुम समझ रही होती हो और मेरी बाँह सहलाने लगती हो। तुम मुझे जागता देखकर मेरे काँधें से थोड़ा ऊपर उठती हो और मेरा सर अपनी बाहों में भरकर सो जाती हो। तुम्हारी बाहों में आते ही मेरे परेशानियाँ क्षण भर में दूर हो जाती हैं और मैं उस सकून को पाता हूँ जो मुझे कभी महसूस नहीं हुआ। पहले मैं तुम्हें तुम्हारी परेशानियों से जूझता हुआ देखकर तुम पर तरस खाता था। अब मुझे महसूस होता है कि तुम मेरे जीवन के अंधकार भरी कोठरी में रोशनदान से मुझ तक आती हुई सूरज की वो पहली किरण हो जो मेरी कोठरी को रोशनी से भर देती है। इस तरह हम एक दूसरे का हाथ थामे हुए भ्रम रूपी जीवन के प्रेम पथ पर एक साथ आगे बढ़ते हैं।

लेखिका कहानियाँ और मुक्त छन्द कविताएँ लिखती हैं। कथा चरित्रों की सजीव कल्पना से उनकी कहानियाँ जीवन्त और मार्मिक बनती है। कहानियों और कविताओं के अतिरिक्त वह जीवन शैली, फैशन और मनोरंजन आदि विषयों पर लिखना पसंद करती हैं। फेमिनिस्ट मुद्दों पर उनके आलेख बिना किसी पूर्वाग्रह के होते हैं। लेखिका ने लोपक.इन के लिए कई कहानियां और अन्य आलेख लिखे हैं। वह एक बहुराष्ट्रीय कंपनी में कार्यरत हैं।

2 thoughts on “अनन्त प्रेम पथ – 2

  1. अविस्मरणीय बहुत ही सुंदर चित्रण कल्पना से भी सुंदर

  2. बोहोत ही ज्यादा शानदार!!
    ऐसा लगा कि जो मैं अब तक कहना चाहता था वो शब्द मिल गए!!
    एक एक शब्द मुझसे जुड़ा सा लग रहा है।
    थैंक यू🙃

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