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मंडली

अनन्त प्रेम पथ – 1

शेयर करें

तुम जानते हो बुरे सपने से कैसा महसूस होता है? जैसे साँस नहीं आ रही हो और मौत आने को हो। मुँह उतर जाता है और होंठ सुख जाते हैं। ऐसा लगता है कि हृदय को धक्का देकर गर्त में झोंक दिया गया हो। जैसे मन किसी अंधकार से डरकर भाग रहा हो और बच नहीं पा रहा हो। भारी होता हुआ एक-एक क्षण अपने अंत के करीब ले जाता हो। सपने की विशेषता यह भी है कि ऐसे मौकों पर भी वह मष्तिष्क को धक्का देकर आँखें खोल लेने की विनती करता है। तुम्हें देखने से एक क्षण पहले मैं भी यही कर रही थी। मेरा मन ही तो जानेगा कि तुम्हारा मुझे पहली बार यहाँ मिलना कितना सुकून भरा था। मैं देख रही थी कि तुम कितने दिव्य से हो। अद्भुत रंग है और मुस्कुराते ऐसे हो जैसे ईश्वर का कोई रूप मन में दिखता हो। एक ओर तुम्हारे पास आने और तुम्हारे साथ आगे बढ़ने का लालच और दूसरी ओर जीवन की जटिलताएंँ सुलझाने की उलझन, मुझे बहुत व्याकुल कर रही थीं। सुख भ्रम ही तो है, पहली बार में ही तुम्हें देखकर तुम तक कैसे दौड़ी चली आती!

हमारा यूँ शुरुआत में मिलना ऐसा था जैसे तुम मुझे मेरे ही डर से बचाने के लिये मेरे सपनों में आये हो। मेरा तुम्हें एक उम्मीद लिए देखना ऐसा था जैसे किसी बंद-अंधेरे रास्ते से जाती हुई एक राह मुझे तुम तक ले जाती थी। जैसे एक संकरी सड़क पर भारी भीड़ को धक्का देते हुए आगे बढ़ने की कोशिश करनी हो। मैं आगे बढ़ती भी थी। इस कोशिश में हाथ-पैर चोटिल भी होते थे, पर दूर से दिखने वाली तुम्हारी झलक तुम तक पहुँचने की बेचैनी को बढ़ाकर मन में हार नहीं मानने का आश्वासन देती थी। तुमको हार भी कैसे सकती थी? एक बार बातों-बातों में मैंने तुम्हें मेरी ‘आखिरी उम्मीद’ कहा था। चमकती आँखों से तुमने जवाब दिया था, “प्यार कम करती हो, इसलिए यह कह रही हो।” यह सुनकर ऐसे लगा जैसे तुम्हारे पास से वापस आने का रास्ता नहीं मिल रहा था। मैं भटक रही थी। आँखों को डुबाये हुए गालों तक झड़ता पानी पूछ रहा था मुझसे कि सच में प्यार कम है मुझे? कोशिश रही थी कि सामने रास्ता दिख जाए। ना दिखे तो सड़क पर ही गिर जाऊं, पर भटकूँ ना।

अब जब तुम्हारे होने से सुकून है, हर रात आँखें बंद करती हूँ और तुम्हें देखती हूँ। तुम रोज देर से आने का कारण पूछते हो तो मैं कहानियाँ सुनाती हूँ। प्यार जताती हूँ। चाहती हूँ कि तुम्हें यकीन हो जाए कि मिलने की जल्दी मुझे भी थी। फिर खुद से सवाल करती हूँ। क्या सच में व्यस्तता प्रेम से ऊपर रखी जा सकती है? सोचती हूँ कि मेरी बातों पर आखिर कितना यकीन करते होगे? हार भी तो नहीं मानते हो। हर वक़्त सही समय पर मिल जाते हो। ढूँढ़ना भी नहीं पड़ता है। कानों में कहते रहते हो, “तुमने बेड़ियों में जकड़ा है ख़ुद को और मैं स्वतंत्र हूँ तुम्हारे लिए”। मैं यकीन करती हूँ और फ़िर कानों में कहते-कहते कोई मीठी बात चूमते हो मेरे गालों को, उतर आते हो गर्दन तक। मैं भागने की कोशिश में होती हूँ तो हाथ पकड़कर रोकते हो। थामते हो और घंटों तक अपने पास बिठाते हो। कहते हो, “तुम्हें जाना है तो चली जाओ, मैं यहीं रहूँगा, तुम्हारे लिए।“

मेरे सपनों में अब तुम आते हो, बुरे ख़याल नहीं! आठों पहर बातें करते हो और कहते हो कि मैं सुंदर हूँ। मैं सोचती हूँ, भला औऱ कितने दिन मैं सिर्फ बेचैन और कम प्यार में पड़ी रहती। तुम तक आने का सफर तय हो चुका है और अब साथ आगे बढ़ने को तैयार हूँ। अब जब तुम रीति-रिवाज़ बताते हो तो मैं उन सब में हमें देखती हूँ। तुम फ़िक्रमंद बातें नहीं कहते हो और मैं तुम्हारी हर बात में अपनी फिक्र पाती हूँ। मुझसे पूछते हो कि क्या मुझे तुम्हारे प्यार में संदेह है। मैं सोच में पड़ जाती हूँ। कैसे तुम मेरे आसपास होने के लिए दिन-रात नहीं देखते हो। कैसे तुमने मुझसे जुड़े रोज के नियम बना रखें हैं। कैसे मुझे सुलाकर ही खुद सोते हो। कैसे मुझे कभी इंतज़ार नहीं कराते हो। और कैसे सहते हो मेरा तुम्हें कम प्यार करना! कैसे मुझे समय ही नहीं देते हो प्यार पर कोई सवाल करने का। कैसे संभालते हो मुझे हर पल, हर जगह मौजूद रह कर। कैसे कहते हो कि मैं मेरी खुशी देखूँ। ये बातें तुम्हारे उस ताने का जवाब ही तो हैं ना।

आज सोच रखा है कि पलकों पर शहद लगा कर आँखें बंद करूँगी,  तुम हर रोज सपने में आकर इन्हें चूमते जो हो! आज तुम्हें मुझे अपने पास बुलाना नहीं होगा। मैं तुम्हारे पास आकर ख़ुद ही बैठ जाऊँगी और कांधे पर सर झुका लूँगी। हाथ पकड़ कर रखूँगी। फ़िर तुम गाते रहना वहीं गाने और मैं सुनती रहूँगी। बहुत प्यार में जो हूँ। इस बार हाथ पकड़ कर चल पड़ेंगे अनंत पथ पर और संभालते रहेंगे एक दूसरे को! जब तक यह जीवन रूपी सपना टूट नहीं जाए।

लेखिका कहानियाँ और मुक्त छन्द कविताएँ लिखती हैं। कथा चरित्रों की सजीव कल्पना से उनकी कहानियाँ जीवन्त और मार्मिक बनती है। कहानियों और कविताओं के अतिरिक्त वह जीवन शैली, फैशन और मनोरंजन आदि विषयों पर लिखना पसंद करती हैं। फेमिनिस्ट मुद्दों पर उनके आलेख बिना किसी पूर्वाग्रह के होते हैं। लेखिका ने लोपक.इन के लिए कई कहानियां और अन्य आलेख लिखे हैं। वह एक बहुराष्ट्रीय कंपनी में कार्यरत हैं।

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